feeling weird about this stage of life i am about to step into

something stable, i never realized how scary that became for me after so long of wanting it so bad

apart of me really misses our friendship and I have a feeling you don’t feel that way anymore and im happy for you i think

i told someone the only way id let you in again, was if there were a way i knew u wanted that and also if i could guarantee no shakiness between us

anywho.. I have been working pretty much everyday and have school everyday that I am not working 

yet, not going in because I feel like I need a day off…this will change soon and I hope it’s sustainable 

I LOVE MY FRIENDS SO BAD

 FALL MOOD BOARD

 

 

 I really wanted to get 6 tankair shirts today

 

I AM A SUCKER FOR MILLENIAL OPTIMISTIC MOVIES 

THERE I SAID IT 

 just found out my job has discounts for LA Apparel and Carharrt….a few other spots too but these made me excited 

 

Wrote this at the bar, after Jaelyn introduced the idea of a writing exercise where we all write a poem about my bottle of beer! To which was proposed after discussing our styles and tones of how we write/speak. I wrote this short thing….that doesn’t have much stylistic intention honestly but more so thought/feeling. This was mine, clearly about Eli, which he knows, what made me write this? I’ll never know….

bought me a hard apple cider 

he remembered 

from the party i enjoyed this also maybe from earlier that i like apple cider?

could’ve gotten me a Stella or a corona

But instead i get to drink from a bottle and not a cup

When drinking this 

each sip i enjoyed more and more because someone considered  me

another word from earlier?

Thanks but man i am unsure that you knew 

 this bottle is disposable even though being the same material as the cup you all drink from

 it cannot be WASHED!

Each sip i picked away at the sticky paper label

I’ll throw this away like every thought ever

But this feeling won’t ever be washed away just thrown out for the flies to indulge in

 something will know

A real live giver, could have been a boot

my brothers driving and blasting music

forgot how good it is to listen to future

THIS COFFEE SHIT GET SERIOUS

 

i want to lay with you, in an open field where yellow flowers are suns of earth 

 capitalism got me bad… why couldn’t I leave bed for days and then after receiving an email about a job opp I jumped out of bed and got ready to go for a run

 

slept for 3 hours I’m not ok rn

                             syrup I made for coffee

this year for halloween I just wanna wear angel wings and protect like I was meant to

 i am ur girl and i will protect you

if u touched(playlist) me

there’d be an answer

 I would

 tell u all

today i saw a girl beat up and bruised across me

all I could do was sit next to her and watch her sleep

had conversations at the bar yesterday about religion and another about asexuality